Short and Sometimes Sweet

“There's a story behind everything..but behind all your stories is always your mother's story..because hers is where yours begins.”  ―  Mitch Albom ,  For One More Day I am writing this blog with sadness in my heart. Sadly my mum-in-law passed away recently. She had been sick with cancer for a while, but it was sudden in the end. Herself and my other half had an unconventional relationship to say the least, but out of respect for them both I'm not going to get in to that. This is my blog after all and as I always tell people, It's all about me. I got on very well with Pat. (The mum-in-law, same name as my OH, but henceforth it refers to her) She was a lovely, gentle caring woman. We stayed with her a few times when we went to London. She adored her grandchildren. And they adored her. We shared many a few jars, stories told and craic was had. It was a big big shock to us all. I was home last week and the phone rang. I got to the phone too late and realised the

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”  ―  Laurell K. Hamilton ,  Mistral's Kiss I've been quiet of late, and to be honest there are a few different reasons for it. I lead a very busy life. Sometimes that's not a good thing. I've spoken before about my battles with depression. Lately I have been in a bad way again. I got to the point where I had to hold my hands up and admit that I can't get over it by myself and I need help. No matter how badly depressed a person gets, it is one of the most difficult things to do. My main problem is sleep, or lack thereof. Nobody can survive on 2 hours sleep per night, let alone run a business, raise a family, etc etc. But that is what I was attempting to do. Why only 2 hours sleep per night? Who knows. All I know is that my head buzzes. Thoughts and replays of silly things, not that important but important enough to make my head hurt. So it continues  

So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good. Helen Keller To say that this week has been a tough one is an understatement. Along with all the usual stresses of family life, and work life, I managed to get a sinus infection. All of that paled into insignificance though, at the news of a family friend passing away. He was very young, and it was very sudden. I've known him around 23 years. He was one of my younger brother's closest friends, and as such was a visitor to our family home. As time went on he was a regular at family gatherings and parties. Many is the time we had drunken conversations about nothing in particular. Well, it was mostly slagging off my brother, but in a fun way.  That was the thing you see. We could have a laugh and a giggle. He was such a nice person though. He lost his mum a few years back and I remember going to the funeral and trying to show support, little knowing that he would soon be doing

Family is the most important thing in the world. People often ask me what I do for a living. So I've decided to base this blog on an explanation of same. I love children. I couldn't eat a whole one though..... Corny jokes aside, I've always been interested in the care and development of children. I think I inherited this trait from my mum. So I raised my family while going to college and earning my qualifications. And working at the same time. Busy stuff.  I worked my way up from being a volunteer at my local playgroup to paid employment for that playgroup, to owning the business. So I have my own little pre-school. My family are shareholders, and we all try to help each other. I deal with the day to day running of the school, the admin, the government bodies, the grantors etc.  We are different to most playgroups/pre-schools though. We run a whole family service. This means we value the importance of the whole family in the child's life, recognising that home li

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else." Albert Einstein There has been a lot in the media lately about bullying. As someone who has been bullied, I decided to do my blog on this subject. I have been bullied most of my life. Even in my own home as a young child. A place where one is meant to feel safe and secure, was never such a place for me. I'm small. I've always been small. I guess that means I'm easy prey. Primary school wasn't too bad, until around 5th class. Then it started off again. I was bullied because "I was small, and because I was brainy, and because my family were poor." Secondary school was my worst nightmare. Day after day of incessant and relentless crap. I feigned every kind of sickness in order to not have to go in to school. I was brainy and did very well in my exams. Until 5th year. I cannot tell you the hell that was my life in school at that point. I became so withdra

"Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts." Hi all. Been a manic few weeks so I've not had time to blog. I've got people staying with me and my wee house is jammers. My son came back home from Spain, just about in one piece. Though I can't say the same for his luggage. His bag was stolen off the bus he boarded to the air port in Salamanca. It contained all of his favourite clothes, sentimental items etc. Not pleasant. He has, as I predicted, changed a lot. He has grown up, learnt some life lessons and knows how to appreciate the small comforts in life. As the house is so busy, and there's extra stuff to do the days are just melting into one. I never know what day it is. I have always been someone who enjoys their space. I really don't take kindly to clingy people. Don't get me wrong, I love company, and hugs etc but just not people who hang out of me all the time. So I&#

Sometimes I write about general things, sometimes I write about more personal stuff. This time I'm going to share something very personal. You can believe it, or not it's ultimately your choice. It's also ultimately my truth and will always remain as such. I've been brought up a Roman Catholic. I've done the whole christening, communion, confirmation etc thing. I think my parents believed it was the right thing to do, even though as it turned out the practitioners of the catholic church had questionable motives. Anyway we did the whole prayer, afterlife, mortal sin thing. As I grew older I questioned their beliefs and started to form my own opinions. Having kids of my own, I always gave them the choice of what they wanted to believe and they made their own choices regarding the big events. Though I think the tradition of getting loads of money was a major factor. Do I believe in an after life? I'm not sure.And as there is only one way of knowing for sure And I

“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.”  Aren't memories funny things? I mean, you can be there just minding your own business, and suddenly a smell or a sound can trigger something deep inside you and stop you in your tracks. When my mum died I found myself taking her jumpers etc and smelling them. Like that was the only way I could remember her. Or when my kids were small and I couldn't be with them for whatever reason I'd spray their blankies with my perfume so as they would feel closer to me, and perhaps not miss me too much. Whenever I brought them to play in the park I would tell them to take in the smell of the fresh cut grass, or the stinky pond and always remember it. I'll never forget the sound of the swan mum when she was protecting her young by that pond. Wow.  When I was young, we didn't have a lot. Money was tight and my parents did their best. I am the third of four children and as was the norm I had my fair share of hand

I'm writing this on the train back from Belfast, wifi is being crappy and I'm bored so you're it!  Been in Belfast for a gig. Journey, Whitesnake, and Thunder. Not many will have heard of the latter. I first saw them in London about %% years ago. They were all long hair, tight trousers and guitars. Something I was mad into back then. It was a small gig, but I was completely blown away by them. So when the chance came to see them in The Odyssey in Belfast I jumped on it. One of my favourite bands in one of my fav cities. Sure I'd be mad not to, eh?  I love Whitesnake and Journey too so win win for me.  Sometimes Belfast gets a bit of stick in the media. It's undeserved for the most part. Yes there are a few assholes there but we get them in Dublin too funnily enough. I met a few lovely guys at the gig, couldn't have been nicer. Full of chat and laughs. And when we got lost on the way home the taxi driver from earlier saw us and gave us a free lift back

"For they conquer who believe they can." John Dryden Well it's been an odd couple of weeks to be honest. Lots of highs and a major low. I've been to Spain to see my son. It was an odd feeling going there because I had no idea what to expect. Obviously I had seen his apartment etc on skype and face time, but still. I have to say, the town of Salamanca is very lovely.The University is amazing and very Potteresque. It's steeped in history and ancient buildings. I wasn't able to climb the steps but my OH did and he said it was amazing. The wee apartment was lovely too. And the beer and wine were cheap as chips! We had a lovely time, sampled pigs bits in a proper Spanish cafe, went to a rock bar, made a scene in the local McDonalds... standard stuff! I was very proud of Jamie, not least because he's doing very well in a difficult situation. He's managed to settle in well. He's even found a little job. To see him interacting with the Spanish peo

"A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity." Robert A. Heinlein I asked people what they thought of jealousy recently. The response was kind of what I expected. In my opinion, jealousy has to be one of the most destructive of the "sins". There are many who try to rationalise the feeling, but to my mind one can't rationalise the irrational.  I come from a humble background, where we had to quite literally fight for our needs and for respect. Where people would deliberately scrap on the street for nothing. I had to fight, although I never went looking for it. If it came my way, I didn't shy away from it. So it went, time went on and I worked hard to get where I am today. I've never set out to make people jealous, always just giving my best to what I do. I was bullied in school. Mostly because of jealousy. The main reason I don't have many female friends

What is this life if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare. No time to stand beneath the boughs And stare as long as sheep or cows. No time to see, when woods we pass, Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass. No time to see, in broad daylight, Streams full of stars, like skies at night. No time to turn at Beauty's glance, And watch her feet, how they can dance. No time to wait till her mouth can Enrich that smile her eyes began. A poor life this is if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare. This poem by William H Davis, called Leisure has always been one of my favourites. It has been on my mind a lot lately for a couple of reasons. I thought I might explain them, since a lot of people have asked me.  As many know, I have grown up children. That may sound like a contradiction in terms, but the fact is they are and always will be your children. Doesn't matter how old or young they are. You love them just as much if they are 2 or 22. Anyhoo, I di

Well, after another crap week of work stress I decided to unwind in a big way over the weekend. I went to my village for a few scoops. And yes, it was fun. A few bets on the horses and a few glasses of wine, a nice way to unwind. Some stuff happened too, and lots of very kind people were worried about me, and asked what had happened. So this blog is by way of a small explanation, and a rant, and just to get things off my chest. Due to the long long time I have been doing my job, many many families have passed through my playgroup. A lot of local families, and as such many are known to me. Now, due to the sensitive nature of my business I have to sign confidentiality agreements and also work closely with state agencies such as social workers etc. I am bound by strict laws and a legal document entitled 'Duty to Care'. As you can imagine in a small community this can and has put me in some not nice positions. I have been threatened, verbally abused and my daughter bullied becaus

So......That's been an interesting couple of weeks for me. I've been ill for a long time now. Partly ignored in the hope it would go away, and partly because other stuff was happening. Other stuff as in my other half had a bad accident in Christmas week and I was dealing with that. So eventually when I did go to the doctors I had various infections in my respiratory tract. 4 anti biotics later and still no better. During this time I had various special occasions all of which I tried to celebrate but it's difficult when one can't keep anything down. So my morning routine became one long cycle of getting up, puking, getting dressed, puking, going to work, puking.... well you get the picture. Finally had enough when while vomming my chest burned and pain went down my arm. And my left lung was agony.                                                       My doctor is either very busy (lol) or doesn't work much cause I had to wait days for an appointment. Finally got to

Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy. Aristotle So I haven't been feeling myself....so to speak.... lately. Very down and tired and lacking energy. I was starting to worry that it was my old enemy returning. Depression. Depression is a bitch that hovers in the background and waits until you're feeling vulnerable and swoops when you're at your lowest ebb. I worked hard to be able to recognise the possible onset of a recurrence and was starting to feel the dread. I've been unwell for quite some time now. Infections are never pleasant, multiple infections even less so. And I've a

There are so many things I could post about right now, so much crap in my head it's unreal. I have chosen to write about a subject I am very passionate about however. A subject I have stayed very quiet about of late. My beloved Arsenal Football Club. I have sat back and read and heard opinions galore from so called fans and non fans alike. I respect other peoples' opinions, however I do feel that some people need to have a word with themselves. The negativity coming from certain people is immeasurable. I've read some stuff that makes my blood boil. For example; If you don't go to matches week in week out you're not a 'real' fan ..........Rubbish If you do go to matches week in week out you're a mug...........................crap You can only be a real fan if you live there...............what? People sitting in armchairs know more about the team than Wenger...........dross Women don't know the offside rule.......................crap Wenger ne

As many may know, I have a love for rugby and football. I was very much a tom boy when I was younger. Always playing with the boys. I couldn't and still can't abide bitchiness or jealousy and the lads seemed to accept me because I could kick a ball....whether it was round or egg shaped. I even made the girl's volleyball team in school. About the only time the PE teacher had any time for me. So yea, I was always picked first for football and rugby. I played in many different positions in both. Mostly defence as I was small but tough.In football I learned a few dirty tricks to keep the ball too....sly squeezing of a certain place. So I was put into goal just to keep me out of harms way! And so over the years I practiced and became quite good at goalkeeping. I loved it. My interest grew and grew. Then one day I was asked to try out for the Ireland ladies team as they trained in the field across from where I live. I was excited. However, a few days before I was due to try out I