Short and Sometimes Sweet

VROOM VROOM!!!!          "Never apologise to others for their misunderstanding of who you are" As many of you know, I have been going to counselling on a weekly basis for around a month now. Initially it was for grief, but I'm finding that how we deal with grief and loss is directly connected to our upbringing and our childhood. Our parents are our first educators and role models, and our behaviour and coping mechanisms good or bad, are directly and implicitly linked. How to break the cycle starts with oneself. We can only change ourselves, and hope others change their attitudes towards us. We are only responsible for our own stuff. My therapist calls it "Driving your own Car" My last blog was about a friend of mine who was lied to and used by someone she thought she knew. This person read the blog and replied to me by DM. I didn't read the DM for obvious reasons, but it started with the line "I read your bollox blog......" A very defensi

Deception "  a trick or scheme used to get what you want" I have been quiet recently, and off social media for the most part. Various reasons for this include the fact that I'm in a huge flare up and my hands and arms are affected greatly. This limits my typing ability. I first joined twitter because I was recovering from surgery and being the worst patient in the world,I thought it would alleviate the boredom. Nine years later I'm grateful for lots of opportunities that I have been given through social media and the friends I have made. I have met some truly wonderful people through there, and without it my business would not be thriving in the manner it is. There is however a down side. Recently a friend of mine has been going through a rough time because of it andI have been doing my best to help them through it. "Catfishing" . We've all heard of it. I bet we've all thought it would never happen to us. We all take steps to defend ourse

“Of pain you could wish only one thing: that it should stop. Nothing in the world was so bad as physical pain. In the face of pain there are no heroes.”  ―  George Orwell,  1984 I've been quiet. By choice mostly, but not wholly. On 3rd January last I had a fit. I hesitate to call it a seizure, as it was very tame by most standards but I guess that's what it was. Brought on by stress, and a new and eager gp's optimism I guess. Stress- we all do it. Stress is a self made thing, a pressure we put on ourselves to be better. My stress? Brought on by the fact my car was broken into while I was visiting my dad's grave at Christmas. Every single piece of personal identification was stolen along with my phone, money, personal diary. I had no evidence that I existed. yet here I was. The stress? Why did I park there? Why did I leave my stuff in the car? Why me? Are they watching me? All compounded by the fact I was receiving strange notifications and messages. Everyone has

"Of pain you could wish only one thing: that it should stop. Nothing in the world was so bad as physical pain. In the face of pain there are no heroes." George Orwell 1984 I'm posting again on this platform for a few reasons.  I find writing stuff down to be very  therapeutic. Almost as if by excising it from inside my head is in some way removing it from it's little crevice in there for forever and I therefore don't have to think about it any more.  I also think that awareness is key. I've written many times about my experiences with depression and anxiety. I've had people say it is attention seeking. They're probably right, but not in the way they think. The more attention and awareness around these debilitating illnesses the better as far as I'm concerned. For too long they have been simply swept under the carpet, or whispered behind doors.  I have been depressed. I have MDD, Major Depressive Disorder. I didn't choose to hav