You Jel Bro?



"A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity."
Robert A. Heinlein


I asked people what they thought of jealousy recently. The response was kind of what I expected. In my opinion, jealousy has to be one of the most destructive of the "sins". There are many who try to rationalise the feeling, but to my mind one can't rationalise the irrational. 

I come from a humble background, where we had to quite literally fight for our needs and for respect. Where people would deliberately scrap on the street for nothing. I had to fight, although I never went looking for it. If it came my way, I didn't shy away from it. So it went, time went on and I worked hard to get where I am today. I've never set out to make people jealous, always just giving my best to what I do. I was bullied in school. Mostly because of jealousy. The main reason I don't have many female friends is because of my experiences with bitchy jealousy. I can honestly say that I have never wished anyone any ill will because of how far they've come, or what they have compared to me. I'm not perfect, but to wish badness on people purely because they've worked hard is just beyond me. Again, I have experience of being in the firing line and it's not a nice place to be. I've been started on by girls because this guy spoke to me, or that guy laughed at me and it's just ridiculous. Recently I re decorated my house and the names I was called for doing that were unreal. People have told me they hate me, when they don't even know me. For the most part I just laugh, but it does get to me at times. 

There are different types of jealousy too. Jealous partners, jealous work mates etc. Lately I've been on the receiving end of work place jealousy. My every single decision being questioned, nit picked and pulled apart. It's not pleasant, particularly when you would have regarded the person as a friend. It's a huge pressure to have someone analyse your every move, question your every decision. Checking up on you, not believing your words. Makes you feel quite paranoid, to the point where you start questioning yourself. I am for the most part, quite a confident person now. Six years of therapy helped with that. And yes, I know I'm not doing anything wrong so check away. Some people don't like that self confidence though, so instead of wishing one well they lash out and try to be destructive. 

I have a very good relationship with my children, and we have good laughs, but this leads to jealousy too. I guess I'm writing this blog because over the past few days/weeks I've been on the receiving end of some vitriolic behaviour that was purely based on envy. I'm struggling to understand it. I am a rational person, but I can't make sense of it at all. All I can say is that I feel sorry for these people who feel the need to try and bring others down to make themselves feel good. They will never have any power over me because I won't allow it. They are the ones with the problem, not me. I'm completely baffled as to why they behave the way they do, seemingly going out of their way to try and undermine. You won't win, so give up. Life's too short to checking up on other people. Get out there, have some fun and show the begrudgers the middle finger. I know I am.

SharonAnn x

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