Short and Sometimes Sweet

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars. A lot has happened in the past few weeks. A lot of life changing stuff, serious stuff that has made me stop and think that maybe someone somewhere has a voodoo doll of me and is constantly sticking pins in me. I've had times where I thought I was going crazy, times I've cried myself to sleep, times I've just cried. There's been a pity party going on with my name the only one on the guest list. It's not always easy when relationships break down, especially 30 year old ones. But we'll always be friends no matter what else the future holds.  Stars and references to stars have followed me all my life. So much so that I feel an affinity with them. In work, all the children are given symbols beside their names. This gets them used to recognising their own names and their own belongings. We try to pick symbols that reflect their personality in some way. W...

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”—Confucius My last blog post was on 16 May last so I thought it was about time I updated things. As many of you know, my life has thrown some major challenges at me these past few months. The first major challenge was that I took ill last April.  I've spoken on this before, but for those that don't know I was diagnosed with cellulitis that turned into sepsis. It nearly killed me, and only for my daughter Anna nagging me to go to the doctors it would have been fatal. So I thank her for that. I've been on intensive antibiotic therapy since then. It makes me very ill, and at times I can't keep food down but it's got to be done. I have since had 2 relapses which have set me back a lot.                                                       I'm also going through some ...

"I shut my eyes in order to see" Because this has been Mental Health week I had decided to write my blog about the various myths being spoken about regarding depression and mental health in general. It's even more poignant now given that a close friend of a family member sadly passed away recently. Sadly she couldn't take the pain any longer. So young, such a shame. Yet again I feel that society is failing our young people, and people with mental health issues in general. I can't remember a time when depression wasn't there. People who have never had it can't really understand it. I guess they can try, and they can be understanding about it but until you actually experience it, I don't think you can truly understand. It's not about sitting around all day crying. Though some people do. In fact some people go from being extremely happy to being extremely sad within minutes. Sometimes when you wake up in the morning you're disappointed to s...

So I thought I would write a follow up to my previous blog. An update on how things are with me now. Funny thing is, everything is still more or less the same. I finished one lot of antibiotics and started on a different one. People are surprised to learn that I will be on these for 3 to 6 months at least. It's kind of dawning on some people, perhaps even me, how sick I actually was. The bacterial infection had gone right through my body, and I was at a dangerous point. Luckily I had sense to get medical help when I did. Or I may not have been here to blog at all. The new antibiotics are having an effect on my tummy. I'm off my food, and I'm tired all the time. I'm trying to keep my spirits up and remain positive, but it's difficult. Sleep deprivation doesn't help. I feel really tired and worn out yet when I close my eyes I can't switch off. I'm worried. About the possible long term effects, about my breast, and about every single little thing that you c...

Not done one of these in a long long time, but life gets busy and time marches on and before you know it months have passed etc etc. I've not been feeling well for such a long time and to be honest blogging has been way down on my list of things to do.  I've been feeling very very low since before Christmas. I put it down to being busy at work and family stuff that I'm not going to go into just now. I went to the doctor and was told I had a form of mumps and as they were rife in my school I accepted that and took my meds. I felt slightly better when I returned to work in January but still not 100%. And so it continued, me trying to ignore symptoms and carry on while knowing all the time that something more was happening. I had a bad fall a few weeks ago and broke my bottom again. I assumed that the pain was wearing me out. Still I carried on regardless. I'm not one for complaining, so I kept it all to myself. Around this time, I had begun to experience pain in my right ...

“There's a story behind everything..but behind all your stories is always your mother's story..because hers is where yours begins.”  ―  Mitch Albom ,  For One More Day I am writing this blog with sadness in my heart. Sadly my mum-in-law passed away recently. She had been sick with cancer for a while, but it was sudden in the end. Herself and my other half had an unconventional relationship to say the least, but out of respect for them both I'm not going to get in to that. This is my blog after all and as I always tell people, It's all about me. I got on very well with Pat. (The mum-in-law, same name as my OH, but henceforth it refers to her) She was a lovely, gentle caring woman. We stayed with her a few times when we went to London. She adored her grandchildren. And they adored her. We shared many a few jars, stories told and craic was had. It was a big big shock to us all. I was home last week and the phone rang. I got to the phone too late and realised the...

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”  ―  Laurell K. Hamilton ,  Mistral's Kiss I've been quiet of late, and to be honest there are a few different reasons for it. I lead a very busy life. Sometimes that's not a good thing. I've spoken before about my battles with depression. Lately I have been in a bad way again. I got to the point where I had to hold my hands up and admit that I can't get over it by myself and I need help. No matter how badly depressed a person gets, it is one of the most difficult things to do. My main problem is sleep, or lack thereof. Nobody can survive on 2 hours sleep per night, let alone run a business, raise a family, etc etc. But that is what I was attempting to do. Why only 2 hours sleep per night? Who knows. All I know is that my head buzzes. Thoughts and replays of silly things, not that important but important enough to make my head hurt. So it continues  ...