It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. Aristotle Onassis

Not done one of these in a long long time, but life gets busy and time marches on and before you know it months have passed etc etc. I've not been feeling well for such a long time and to be honest blogging has been way down on my list of things to do. 

I've been feeling very very low since before Christmas. I put it down to being busy at work and family stuff that I'm not going to go into just now. I went to the doctor and was told I had a form of mumps and as they were rife in my school I accepted that and took my meds. I felt slightly better when I returned to work in January but still not 100%. And so it continued, me trying to ignore symptoms and carry on while knowing all the time that something more was happening. I had a bad fall a few weeks ago and broke my bottom again. I assumed that the pain was wearing me out. Still I carried on regardless. I'm not one for complaining, so I kept it all to myself. Around this time, I had begun to experience pain in my right breast. I mentioned it to my doctor who advised keeping an eye on things. As I have written in the past about my health battles, and having been down the cancer road before I was very worried. I had a weekend away planned and I wasn't cancelling that under any circumstances. So off I went, had an absolutely fantastic weekend and came home feeling worn out. Some really large red puss filled lumps came up on my face, and my nipple had started to weep. I panicked. I was feeling so worn out and tired and had no energy whatsoever. Another appointment for the doctor was needed.

I'm not sure if most people realise, but every time I go to my doctor it costs me €60. Plus medications. So it's not easy. Anyway I got an appointment and off I went. My own doctor is away on hols so I saw the lady doctor who also runs the practice. She took one look at me and knew how ill I am. Severe cellulitis on my face, and perhaps in my breast too. She started making arrangements for me to go to hospital for IV antibiotics. I refused to go. I get absolutely 0 sleep in hospitals. I don't do well. So she agreed to give me a week of intensive antibiotics at home. I can't begin to describe the pain, of my face and my breast. It is so sore that I couldn't even let the doctor examine it. 

There's no guarantee that this is what is wrong with my breast. I've had two aunts with breast cancer, and one cousin. Both on my maternal side. It's scary shit that's happening right now. If things don't begin to clear up in the next week, I'll have to go to the sympathetic breast care clinic for tests. I've been confined to bed for at least two weeks, no working, no lifting, no stress etc. trying to remain positive, and trying to keep my chin up is proving very difficult. Apart from everything else, the doctor could not emphasise enough that it is a bacterial infection, and deadly serious. Literally. 

So here I go again, battling once more. All I can do is rest and take my meds. I've got a decent support network and I'm taking strength from them. It's surprising how, when someone loves you it gives you strength. The pain is excruciating, it drains me so badly. All I want to do is sleep all day. I can't even face visitors for more than a few mins. At the very least it's going to take 6 months to get better. I don't plan on giving up any time soon. 

SharonAnn

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