Happy Birthday to Anna :)x



"I miss thee, my Mother! Thy image is still
The deepest impressed on my heart."


So this week sees the birthday of my youngest child and only girl, Anna. She reaches the ripe old age of 18. A young woman, a grown up in training, but always my little girl. I wish she had a sister but alas it wasn't to be.A necessary sacrifice, but a painful one just the same. It was while I was expecting Anna that I had my first cancer scare, and she likes to think we saved each others lives and she might be right!

As is my wont, whenever one of them has a birthday, I think about the events leading up to their birth, and the first moments of looking in this wee person's eyes and wondering what they thought of me and what had just happened to them! I can't believe that 18 years has passed in the blink of an eye. Anna was and still is the apple of my eye. And my mum adored her. I can't help but think of my mum at a time like this and wish she could be here to see the beautiful, funny, caring young woman that Anna has become. I've been sad this week thinking of the massive missing piece of my family and the emptiness that it brings. People say time heals, but for me, the longer it is the more it hurts. And so I was caught in this moment of sadness, not wanting to be there but feeling helpless to escape when Anna came in and started telling me about trying on vintage dresses. About how she loves going to charity shops and finding new old clothes to wear. The things she was saying and the way she was saying them made me actually think my mum was in the room with me!
Loved a bargain did my mum, and charity shops were her favourite haunts. We used to rib her about some of the stuff she bought but she took it all in her stride. And something suddenly occurred to me.
The people we love always leave a part of themselves behind. They live on in each one of us. Whether it's a love of charity shop bargains, or cake, or tea, or a phrase or a look. It can be anything at all. Btw, Anna shows all of the above. And I love the bones of her. It is unbelievably comforting to know that she has so many of my mother's traits. In the middle of all this, I couldn't help but smile and think how blessed we are. No matter what has happened over the past few months, and believe me, parents breaking up is never easy, no matter what age you are, we are still a family unit. A team. We have still got each other, my Anna Banana and I, and my mum lives in both of us. That's not too bad now, is it?

SharonAnn

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