The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance." Alan Watts
Hello again. I promised myself I would try to write at least one blog a month, so here goes.
It's been a very odd couple of weeks for me. My mood has been all over the place. As many people know, towards the end of the summer my eldest son moved to Spain for a year. Now we wouldn't have the usual mother/son relationship. We are great friends. But don't tell him I said that because I've always denied it, saying instead that I'm his mother and he should remember that! We also do this kind of psychic thing. He always knows what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling and vice versa. It has been proven this week that distance makes no difference! So I've been missing him a lot, and our chats, and our bitchin, and our alcohol fueled laughs. One of which lead to me literally breaking my ass in two places. Oooh the pain!
As well as missing my boy, my daughter had a birthday. A special one. And she started work. So in the space of what seems like 24 hours I've gone from holding her and singing 'My Girl' to her (very badly, I might add) she is now working. Then my middle child announces that when he has saved enough money he's moving into a flat with his mates. So yet again, I'm left thinking Jesus, where did the time go? You know you do the after school activity runs, the whatever club is in this week runs, the scout runs etc and you moan because you're tired and you've had a crap day at work etc but before you know where you are the house falls silent, there are no little friends calling for play dates, no screaming little girls, no rough and tumble boys and you just sit there in the quiet and think wow!
It was always our plan to have a shed load of kids. I wanted 6 or 8. Not sure about my other half, but I could have persuaded him! I love children and babies and all that goes with them. I guess I wouldn't be in my job if I didn't! Christmases and birthdays and special occasions are always more fun with kids.
When I became ill the first time, I was told not to have any more. I had the two boys. I was devastated. Two was never going to be enough. I'm not the type to listen to doctors so I had another. And a good thing too cause she saved my life, as I have spoken about in earlier blogs. And then my latest op took all my bits away so that was that. When doctors etc commented at how young I was to have such an op I didn't listen. I was just glad to be alive. Sometimes when the house is quiet I feel empty.
So I have been feeling sorry for myself,this feeling only compounded by the fact that I broke 3 toes and in agony. My friends have been great, as have my family. My little Anna has cheered me up on my darkest days. I am so lucky to still be here to enjoy myself. I get cross with myself sometimes for feeling crap. But it happens, and I deal with it. Just like change. Change happens, kids grow up, they move on and all you can hope for is that you've given them the skills and confidence to deal with life's shit. And when they can't you can be their soft place to fall. As for the quiet house? Well my ipod is helping me with that; not sure the neighbours are happy, but I couldn't care less!
I've stopped feeling sorry for myself, and gone back to focusing on the positives. Change is a good thing for the most part. My son will be home for Christmas, and that's not long to wait. No doubt he will have grown as a person. And that's what life is all about really!
SharonAnn
It's been a very odd couple of weeks for me. My mood has been all over the place. As many people know, towards the end of the summer my eldest son moved to Spain for a year. Now we wouldn't have the usual mother/son relationship. We are great friends. But don't tell him I said that because I've always denied it, saying instead that I'm his mother and he should remember that! We also do this kind of psychic thing. He always knows what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling and vice versa. It has been proven this week that distance makes no difference! So I've been missing him a lot, and our chats, and our bitchin, and our alcohol fueled laughs. One of which lead to me literally breaking my ass in two places. Oooh the pain!
As well as missing my boy, my daughter had a birthday. A special one. And she started work. So in the space of what seems like 24 hours I've gone from holding her and singing 'My Girl' to her (very badly, I might add) she is now working. Then my middle child announces that when he has saved enough money he's moving into a flat with his mates. So yet again, I'm left thinking Jesus, where did the time go? You know you do the after school activity runs, the whatever club is in this week runs, the scout runs etc and you moan because you're tired and you've had a crap day at work etc but before you know where you are the house falls silent, there are no little friends calling for play dates, no screaming little girls, no rough and tumble boys and you just sit there in the quiet and think wow!
It was always our plan to have a shed load of kids. I wanted 6 or 8. Not sure about my other half, but I could have persuaded him! I love children and babies and all that goes with them. I guess I wouldn't be in my job if I didn't! Christmases and birthdays and special occasions are always more fun with kids.
When I became ill the first time, I was told not to have any more. I had the two boys. I was devastated. Two was never going to be enough. I'm not the type to listen to doctors so I had another. And a good thing too cause she saved my life, as I have spoken about in earlier blogs. And then my latest op took all my bits away so that was that. When doctors etc commented at how young I was to have such an op I didn't listen. I was just glad to be alive. Sometimes when the house is quiet I feel empty.
So I have been feeling sorry for myself,this feeling only compounded by the fact that I broke 3 toes and in agony. My friends have been great, as have my family. My little Anna has cheered me up on my darkest days. I am so lucky to still be here to enjoy myself. I get cross with myself sometimes for feeling crap. But it happens, and I deal with it. Just like change. Change happens, kids grow up, they move on and all you can hope for is that you've given them the skills and confidence to deal with life's shit. And when they can't you can be their soft place to fall. As for the quiet house? Well my ipod is helping me with that; not sure the neighbours are happy, but I couldn't care less!
I've stopped feeling sorry for myself, and gone back to focusing on the positives. Change is a good thing for the most part. My son will be home for Christmas, and that's not long to wait. No doubt he will have grown as a person. And that's what life is all about really!
SharonAnn
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