"If you want to be loved, be lovable."



It's been a very busy time for me since my last blog post, so I thought I would update it. I'm still struggling with my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and all my other bits and pieces, while trying to look after my business and my family and my friends. It's not easy, but then who said it would be?

I'm the type of person that always tries to think the best of people, to look for the best in them and to try not judge.I don't like it when people judge me, and when they're rude to me so I do my best to be nice and to be open minded. In the past few weeks I've dealt with a lot. People who I've gone to the ends of the earth for, paid for stuff for, gave them any and every chance I could, and they've thrown it back in my face. Either by bitching about me behind my back, dissing my business, blaming me for for things that are not my fault, well, the list is endless. I've had people who were meant to be friends and loyal stab me in the back and treat me like a fool. I was even starting to think that maybe they were right, and maybe I should be more cynical. I have been at the point where I really thought people were horrible and not worth my time.
Then I had a moment. Not a great epiphany type moment but a moment none the less. I am who I am. Simple as that. I am me, and I am who I am. These people that take time out of their day to back bite and bitch about me are the ones with the problems. They're not friends and they never were. As for the people that choose to believe their shit even for a millisecond, they're not friends either. I absolutely detest gossip and bitching about people, to the point that none of my neighbours will talk to me anymore because I told them I'm not a gossip. I refuse to stand on the street or sit in the pub and bitch about people so that means I'm the subject of said gossip etc. Well so what. I never sat around waiting for stuff to happen. I got up off my arse and worked hard for what I have. I've not had it easy, far from it in fact, but I didn't wallow in it and expect someone else to fix things for me. All of these people are the ones with the problem, not me. People who sit around in pubs talking shit are sad and need to stop bitching about my life and get one of their own.

I've just come back from a visit to London. I went to the Arsenal meet up and to see my son Jamie. It's funny the way we are so alike yet so different. He's not had it easy of late either, but he has someone now to look after him and fight his corner. As do I.
I met lots of lovely people at the meet up. It was a bit awkward at first to be honest. It's like you know these people but you've never actually met. But the awkwardness just melted away and I got to know some really lovely people; I hope to go to the next one, when it will be less awkward and more relaxed.

So, what have I learned these past few weeks? I've learned to love and cherish my proper friends, my family and myself. That I don't own other people's shit, and it's best to leave it blow back in their faces. Ive learned that some really lovely people still exist, and that loyalty is rare but still a thing. Mainly due to my friend that I've known since I was three and who lives in Greece. We caught up and it was like time had stood still and we were still the same kids we always were.
And I've also learned that the only advantage those bitching behind my back have over me is that they can kiss my arse.
Stay strong

SharonAnn x


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