Trust


                                 "To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."
                                                            George MacDonald

It's been a while, I've been keeping busy and some days are just not long enough. A lot has happened since I blogged last, some of which you know, some of which is private for now. I have been reading a lot about catfish accounts on twitter and other social networks. I was amazed at how often this happens, and also amazed at some people's reactions when they or someone they know gets fooled by one. It got me thinking about the concept of trust, and how it's actually more painful to have your trust broken by someone close to you than it is to be dumped by someone you love. They are both intrinsically linked, but not necessarily the same.
In this age of long distance relationships, be it romantic or otherwise, trust is a basic yet important ingredient. I am a great believer in truth. I rarely lie; I realised some time ago that I'm crap at it so I don't do it anymore. To have someone trust you is a privilege that we should never ever take for granted. When one lives with depression trust is even more important. You can get it into your head that you can trust no one, so you internalise everything and build up huge walls to protect yourself. The trouble is, those walls can destroy you, making you feel trapped and alone. More often than not the reason for the walls being up is that you have tried to trust before and it was thrown back in your face. It's a protective step, but not always productive. My dad always says I wear my heart on my sleeve and this is somewhat true. I only wear some of it there, the rest is locked away, behind those big walls, in it's protective zone where no one can touch it. It's a very very lonely place to be. You see, these walls I've built not only keep the bad stuff out. I've discovered that they also keep the good stuff out. Stuff that we all need, and we all want, but we're too afraid to let in. 
So I guess what I'm saying is that we need to not only trust others, but we need to trust ourselves. It's scary opening up that protective zone to anyone. I have been there, and believe me it's totally worth it. I've been in both positions, where I have trusted and been trusted. When you love the person you trust and they love you and trust you in return it brings your relationship to a whole other level. A more connected level. A relationship based on lies no matter how big or small is doomed from the very start. So if you're feeling down, please please try to trust someone enough to tell them. Trust me, you'll feel better for it. 
SharonAnn 

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