Life Is A Roller Coaster





"Believe that Life Is Worth Living, And Your Belief Will Help Create The Fact"



Well, the past few weeks have been a bit of a roller coaster. I've had tests for this and tests for that and it has worn me out to be honest. My emotions have been all over the place. From happy and positive to sad and over thinking and everything in between. At last, I have a diagnosis. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is one of the most frustrating, painful, sneaky syndromes that a person can have. One minute I'm fine and happy and the next my legs stop working, or I can't see, or I have to rest. It creeps up on you, hits you when you least expect it and rest has to be your priority whether you're tired or not.

My main feeling is one of immense relief if I'm totally honest. Don't get me wrong, I know it's a long road to recovery, and progress can be slow, but my main question was: Is it going to kill me? And the answer to that is a resounding no. After all I've been through over the past few years, fighting hard to keep going, I'm not about to give up now. I have people I love that I need to keep going for, but I've got a lot of living to do and I'm starting to feel happy again and I'm not letting anything ruin that for me

I've had so much positive feed back from lots of special people, who have read about me and found some hope and solace in my writing. For this I am eternally grateful. I've written a lot about my health and my struggles with depression and I've always said if even one person reads it and realises there's always hope then it has been worthwhile. I do get a bit mortified sometimes too. It's funny because I started this blog for a few reasons, one of them being to get stuff out of head and written down so it's not in there any more, and also because some people were genuinely interested in my story and asked me to write it down. Still when people say "I've read your blog" I kind of do a double take and gulp and think ohhhh dear!

So despite everything it's been a good week this week. Spending time in lovely company, finally knowing what's wrong and how to deal with it, and also continuing my writing. For a long time I've wanted to get into sports writing. I'm really grateful for the chance to do that, given to me by www.thearsenalforum.com and also my friends at "The Popular Side" who published an article I wrote for them this week. So all in all things are looking up. I'm finished the meds that drain me so much and make me sick, and I'm feeling loved. Of course things are a long way from being perfect, but all I can do is keep on keeping on and with the love and support of my family and friends I'll get there in the end. Perfect is boring anyway lol

SharonAnn x


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