Small and Very Strong
I haven't done one of these in a while..... life gets busy, time gets short etc etc. Today I'm feeling quite reflective, and I'm on my holidays from work so time is not so short. So what to write about? Well I was going to write about something different, but recent events dictate otherwise.
Yesterday my father came to see me as he always does on Sundays. He brought some old photos. It seems as we grow older, and memories fade, photos become ever more important. Anyway, among the pictures of my children when they were younger, there were two of me. I usually like these photos but not yesterdays. You see, in the two photos I saw a stranger. Someone that I used to know. A tiny terrified face. Pale and gaunt and very ill. Apart from the fact that I looked about 12 years old, A sister to my two boys rather than their mum, it made me realise how ill I actually was. And also how I have never, until now, fully accepted and understood what I went through. All through my various operations and the recovery there after the same thing has been said to me by medical people......"Sharon you don't seem to fully accept what's happening" And my answer has always been "Oh yea, its grand. I'll be fine" And I just got on with it. Because when you have kids you have to. Now I'm putting this in writing, because it doesn't happen very often, I hold my hands up and admit. They were right and I was wrong. There, I've said it.
You see I've always refused to let things get the better of me. I've never given myself credit for anything. But if I was to speak to that person in the photo, I would feel very sad for her but at the same time feel proud of her for fighting the good fight. For coping extremely well. For beating the bastard illness that wrecked the inside of her body. I want to give her a big hug. I want to ask her what the hell she was doing on a day out when she was that ill. I really don't know what I was thinking. I had over 200 stitches on the inside of my body. Wow!
So as I prepare to do battle once again, I'm reflecting on the person I am today. Yes I'm quirky, yes I'm different. Why am I these things? because of my past or rather in spite of my past. I have learned to grab life by the balls and enjoy it. It's not always a bowl of cherries, I have bad days and money worries just like anyone else. But I have faced worse and survived. Boy, I must be a strong person because I'm still here, I'm still laughing, I'm still crying, I'm still having fun. And that's what life's journey is all about.
SharonAnn x
Yesterday my father came to see me as he always does on Sundays. He brought some old photos. It seems as we grow older, and memories fade, photos become ever more important. Anyway, among the pictures of my children when they were younger, there were two of me. I usually like these photos but not yesterdays. You see, in the two photos I saw a stranger. Someone that I used to know. A tiny terrified face. Pale and gaunt and very ill. Apart from the fact that I looked about 12 years old, A sister to my two boys rather than their mum, it made me realise how ill I actually was. And also how I have never, until now, fully accepted and understood what I went through. All through my various operations and the recovery there after the same thing has been said to me by medical people......"Sharon you don't seem to fully accept what's happening" And my answer has always been "Oh yea, its grand. I'll be fine" And I just got on with it. Because when you have kids you have to. Now I'm putting this in writing, because it doesn't happen very often, I hold my hands up and admit. They were right and I was wrong. There, I've said it.
You see I've always refused to let things get the better of me. I've never given myself credit for anything. But if I was to speak to that person in the photo, I would feel very sad for her but at the same time feel proud of her for fighting the good fight. For coping extremely well. For beating the bastard illness that wrecked the inside of her body. I want to give her a big hug. I want to ask her what the hell she was doing on a day out when she was that ill. I really don't know what I was thinking. I had over 200 stitches on the inside of my body. Wow!
So as I prepare to do battle once again, I'm reflecting on the person I am today. Yes I'm quirky, yes I'm different. Why am I these things? because of my past or rather in spite of my past. I have learned to grab life by the balls and enjoy it. It's not always a bowl of cherries, I have bad days and money worries just like anyone else. But I have faced worse and survived. Boy, I must be a strong person because I'm still here, I'm still laughing, I'm still crying, I'm still having fun. And that's what life's journey is all about.
SharonAnn x
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